[ Well, so far, Myung has very much enjoyed the hand holding, and the kissing, and the dancing and the playing piano together. He's enjoying it all, in ways he still finds surprising, because usually, at this point, his relationships have evolved to be mainly about sex.
It's not easy, not really, not for Myung, but whatever. He shrugs. ]
As soon as possible. It's always a bit difficult to know when he'll be around, because he has to share time with Bam and I already feel like I'm constantly asking Bam to sacrifice his life for me to get time with Dal, so I'm waiting for the next time he's around.
[ Jiho, no. ]
He said before he didn't have interest in anyone else, but that was then. Things might have changed, and I won't try to stop him if he wants that.
no, he wouldn't really. but he's protective of myung. tough on him, yes, but jiho's getting better at that too, and expressing his feelings in general.
but he's still a little pink punk.]
Talk to him about it as soon as you can. Get it behind you so you can move on to the good stuff.
[emphasis on good stuff, but hey at least he's not shoving bananas into bagels.]
So when he took your power away, it didn't just vanish, did it? You said he had to wear a hat.
[ Myung nods, returning to playing a nonsensical little melody. ]
Yeah, I will. It's the plan, anyway. I just hope it... goes the way I want it to. I think I'd be really kinda jealous.
[ Which is not exactly a feeling Myung in unaccustomed to, but it's not one he enjoys at all.
He shakes his head at the question. ]
No, he takes it on. SO my hair goes white, his goes all colorful and shows his feelings. I guess it's the same for any other power he can absorb, he can use it for a little while, or manifest it at least. The other person can't anymore.
[jiho nods softly. he wants it to go that way too. he feels good about it. the situation is...new, not one he would've expected to find myung in. but hell, who is he to talk.
myung is being honest with his own feelings though. and that's good, it encourages jiho too.]
That's too bad. [he looks down at his knitting for a moment before correcting himself.] I mean, it's good. It's fine for you and for him. But...I was thinking it could help Rook.
[ It is not a situation Myung ever expected himself to find himself in, either. It's a pretty huge game-changer for him, which is why he's talked about it with a number of people, trying to make sense of it, trying to make sure he can do it, that it is what he wants, really, and...
Seems like it is. At least he's got Dae to thank for that, for being slightly more in touch with his feelings, accepting them easier.
Myung looks up, the piano going silent. ]
I mean, if you and Rook talk to him about it... I guess it depends on what he'd take on. If it's the summoning thing, I'm going to have to ask you not to do that. But I'm not sure if that's something that he can take on, anyway.
No. If he could make it go away completely, that might be different.
[but that isn't want dal does, and so the idea stops there. he focuses on knitting for a moment, cursing under his breath when he gets it wrong. breaking off the yarn completely when he can't fix it.]
He has no control over it, you know? [his craft is ruined now, but he still doesn't look up.] If Rook wanted to have sex with a hundred other people, that would be fine. I know what we have.
[the way that rook looks at him and smiles and wraps around him. that's what jiho wants from him, and it can't be faked.]
But he literally gets taken out of my arms, for people to use him for whatever they want, and he can't fight it. He apologizes, and it's not his fucking fault.
[it's a knitting needle, not a dagger. but jiho holds it like it is.]
[ Myung's jaw clenches, because, fuck, he knows. It's fucking horrible, and he can only imagine how Jiho must feel. He slides off the piano bench and onto the couch by Jiho's side, pulling him in with little effort - if Jiho resists, that's that, but if he doesn't, he'll get a hug. ]
Is there anything anyone can do? Maybe - Adder, or Ros? Surely that should be in their wheelhouse to help him. Make it stop.
[ Myung runs his tongue over his teeth. ]
It's not the same - it's not the same at all, but. Dal doesn't exactly have his own body, you know? I mean, he does, he's real, but he kinda shares, with Bam. The first time I fell asleep here, I woke up with Bam, and I had the freak out of a lifetime. It's not - it's like, I know I'm always going to have to share him, and he can't do anything about it either.
[jiho's body is still trained to resist, a knee-jerk reflex that's deeply ingrained in him. but jiho himself doesn't want to resist, so he overrides that instinct. he lets himself be hugged against myung.]
I don't know. Maybe.
[he thought for a minute that levi - as if jiho would ever get him inclined to help anyway. but he was wrong. all that could happen there would be jiho being turned into a demon of wrath or something. and honestly, he's already soft enough.]
I'm going to try summoning him back. Rook's nervous about it, but I cna handle it. [he listens to myung's dilemma before snorting softly, shaking his head.] Nothing's easy, is it. I guess I'd be worried if it was.
[jiho isn't a pessimist, but he accepts how the real world works.]
[ Myung isn't well versed in everything that's happened. But all he can say is that Jiho loves Rook. He wouldn't be saying these things otherwise. He cares about everyone in the house, but Rook is special, Myung isn't blind. ]
You should try everything you can. [ He leans in, wrapping an arm around over Jiho's shoulders, keeping him close. ]
Definitely not easy. But, hey. How d'you feel when you're alone with him? Is that part easy?
[jiho smiles a little at the arm around his shoulders, the solid feeling of myung's body beside him. he's pretty good at this, things jiho never gave himself a chance to find out before.]
When we're alone? Yeah, that part's like breathing. Easier.
[ Oh, hey, at least he's solid to Jiho. If you listen to Minsu, Myung's apparently ready to be blown away by the slightest gust of wind.
And yeah, he's a great goddamn hugger, thank you very much. ]
That's what matters. Don't get me wrong, I get it, I get being fucking scared. But if it's good and you're happy when you're alone, just. Hold on to that. It makes the rest of the shit worth it.
[he never said that. would never say it. if it's anyone's fault, it's dae's. if he's even alive to blame.
other things jiho will never say.]
I guess I don't know how to hesitate. [he smiles a little, only a touch bitter. it works in his favor most of the time, out there. if he hesitates, he gets hurt. with this, it could work out in the other direction. but he doesn't think it will.] He's always been honest. I just had to start believing him.
[ Myung sighs, reaching down to play with some of Jiho's yarn. ]
I used to be so sure, about Dae. He was so... steadfast. So stubborn, about us. [ He clenches his jaw. ] Not that I think you should be more cautious. He's waited around for you long enough. I just. I worry.
[ Well, at least when Myung burnt, he did so brightly. Right? ]
Maybe it makes sense, then. He had to fly away, or some shit like that.
[ Sure, Myung is happy, right now. He's happier than he thought he could be, considering the circumstances. But that doesn't mean that he's not still bitter.
Mm, thanks. I do like him, you know? He's cute. And he's obviously good for you. You've mellowed out a lot since you've let him in, and I can't say that I think it's a bad thing.
[they have other adjectives for him. and while they're true, they're not all that rook is. or even the most important part. certainly not to him.]
He is cute though. And ticklish. And he doesn't take away anything inside of me. If anything, he sharpens it.
[that was always one of his fears. that feelings would make him too soft. that he would be so busy being in love, he would forget the parts of the world that he hates. now he's also become a duality, a lover and a killer.]
You'll be glad to know that I'm more careful now. And a little more selective.
[ Myung flexes his fingers a little, an impossible reaction to the immediate question that plagues him - does he take anything inside of Jiho? Present, or past tense?
But this isn't about him, so he shut it down. What matters is this, now, Jiho's admissions. His willingness to change. ]
I'm happy for you. Truly.
[ He chews on the inside of his lip for a moment, before going for it. ]
[ It's more because he wants to understand Jiho's sexuality than a true desire to know any kind of detail. But if Rook's being so good to him, Myung just... wonders. ]
[but he's still cute when he blushes. jiho smiles a little. the question isn't what he expected, but again that says more about jiho than it does myung. it's probably a question that a lot of people would have.]
We haven't. But we've talked about it, and we might in the future. Neither of us need it right now.
[rook isn't like him, but he's not exactly like other people either. what they have works for them.]
There are things that I can get out of it too. I think Rook just needs to feel sure of that first.
It'll come back, in a couple hours. Unless I see Dal in between, which I doubt I will. Gotta let Bam roam a little.
[ Even if Myung would prefer having Dal around all day, every day, it isn't exactly fair on Bam.
Myung nods, unsure he understands, exactly, but also glad that whatever they have is working out for them. ]
That's - good. That you're both happy. And satisfied. Doesn't matter how that looks like, right? As long as you're both good.
[ He leans in, chin on Jiho's shoulder. ]
You and I would never have worked, long-term. I like sex too much. That's actually the one part I'm scared of, with Dal. Because I like him so much, but he's never had sex, and he could very well realize he doesn't care for it. And I don't know... I don't know what I'd do. I mean, I'd support him, of course, but I don't know if I can be in a relationship without sex.
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It's not easy, not really, not for Myung, but whatever. He shrugs. ]
As soon as possible. It's always a bit difficult to know when he'll be around, because he has to share time with Bam and I already feel like I'm constantly asking Bam to sacrifice his life for me to get time with Dal, so I'm waiting for the next time he's around.
[ Jiho, no. ]
He said before he didn't have interest in anyone else, but that was then. Things might have changed, and I won't try to stop him if he wants that.
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no, he wouldn't really. but he's protective of myung. tough on him, yes, but jiho's getting better at that too, and expressing his feelings in general.
but he's still a little pink punk.]
Talk to him about it as soon as you can. Get it behind you so you can move on to the good stuff.
[emphasis on good stuff, but hey at least he's not shoving bananas into bagels.]
So when he took your power away, it didn't just vanish, did it? You said he had to wear a hat.
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Yeah, I will. It's the plan, anyway. I just hope it... goes the way I want it to. I think I'd be really kinda jealous.
[ Which is not exactly a feeling Myung in unaccustomed to, but it's not one he enjoys at all.
He shakes his head at the question. ]
No, he takes it on. SO my hair goes white, his goes all colorful and shows his feelings. I guess it's the same for any other power he can absorb, he can use it for a little while, or manifest it at least. The other person can't anymore.
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myung is being honest with his own feelings though. and that's good, it encourages jiho too.]
That's too bad. [he looks down at his knitting for a moment before correcting himself.] I mean, it's good. It's fine for you and for him. But...I was thinking it could help Rook.
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Seems like it is. At least he's got Dae to thank for that, for being slightly more in touch with his feelings, accepting them easier.
Myung looks up, the piano going silent. ]
I mean, if you and Rook talk to him about it... I guess it depends on what he'd take on. If it's the summoning thing, I'm going to have to ask you not to do that. But I'm not sure if that's something that he can take on, anyway.
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[but that isn't want dal does, and so the idea stops there. he focuses on knitting for a moment, cursing under his breath when he gets it wrong. breaking off the yarn completely when he can't fix it.]
He has no control over it, you know? [his craft is ruined now, but he still doesn't look up.] If Rook wanted to have sex with a hundred other people, that would be fine. I know what we have.
[the way that rook looks at him and smiles and wraps around him. that's what jiho wants from him, and it can't be faked.]
But he literally gets taken out of my arms, for people to use him for whatever they want, and he can't fight it. He apologizes, and it's not his fucking fault.
[it's a knitting needle, not a dagger. but jiho holds it like it is.]
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Is there anything anyone can do? Maybe - Adder, or Ros? Surely that should be in their wheelhouse to help him. Make it stop.
[ Myung runs his tongue over his teeth. ]
It's not the same - it's not the same at all, but. Dal doesn't exactly have his own body, you know? I mean, he does, he's real, but he kinda shares, with Bam. The first time I fell asleep here, I woke up with Bam, and I had the freak out of a lifetime. It's not - it's like, I know I'm always going to have to share him, and he can't do anything about it either.
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I don't know. Maybe.
[he thought for a minute that levi - as if jiho would ever get him inclined to help anyway. but he was wrong. all that could happen there would be jiho being turned into a demon of wrath or something. and honestly, he's already soft enough.]
I'm going to try summoning him back. Rook's nervous about it, but I cna handle it. [he listens to myung's dilemma before snorting softly, shaking his head.] Nothing's easy, is it. I guess I'd be worried if it was.
[jiho isn't a pessimist, but he accepts how the real world works.]
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[ Myung isn't well versed in everything that's happened. But all he can say is that Jiho loves Rook. He wouldn't be saying these things otherwise. He cares about everyone in the house, but Rook is special, Myung isn't blind. ]
You should try everything you can. [ He leans in, wrapping an arm around over Jiho's shoulders, keeping him close. ]
Definitely not easy. But, hey. How d'you feel when you're alone with him? Is that part easy?
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[jiho smiles a little at the arm around his shoulders, the solid feeling of myung's body beside him. he's pretty good at this, things jiho never gave himself a chance to find out before.]
When we're alone? Yeah, that part's like breathing. Easier.
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And yeah, he's a great goddamn hugger, thank you very much. ]
That's what matters. Don't get me wrong, I get it, I get being fucking scared. But if it's good and you're happy when you're alone, just. Hold on to that. It makes the rest of the shit worth it.
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jiho smiles to himself. it's nice to hear myung talk like this, with fight and fire. he hopes he applies it to himself just as much.]
You don't have to worry about that. I'll make him drag me to hell with him if that's what it takes. There's too much fight in me to be a quitter.
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... Yeah. Some things, they stay. ]
You're very sure, about the two of you, uh?
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other things jiho will never say.]
I guess I don't know how to hesitate. [he smiles a little, only a touch bitter. it works in his favor most of the time, out there. if he hesitates, he gets hurt. with this, it could work out in the other direction. but he doesn't think it will.] He's always been honest. I just had to start believing him.
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I used to be so sure, about Dae. He was so... steadfast. So stubborn, about us. [ He clenches his jaw. ] Not that I think you should be more cautious. He's waited around for you long enough. I just. I worry.
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[pretty and bright, flitting from flower to flower. myung was more of a tiger moth, drawn to things that would burn him.
he did think that they had something special. but people can change. hasn't he?]
I know. [he puts his hand on myung's knee.] You don't have to worry too much though. If he hurts me, I'll probably kill him.
[it's worse that he smiles when he says that.]
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Maybe it makes sense, then. He had to fly away, or some shit like that.
[ Sure, Myung is happy, right now. He's happier than he thought he could be, considering the circumstances. But that doesn't mean that he's not still bitter.
Myung snorts. He can believe that. ]
Maybe just stab him a little, don't kill him.
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Just stab him a little. [jiho laughs at the advice.] That's going to be hard for me, but I'll try. Since you asked me to.
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Mm, thanks. I do like him, you know? He's cute. And he's obviously good for you. You've mellowed out a lot since you've let him in, and I can't say that I think it's a bad thing.
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[they have other adjectives for him. and while they're true, they're not all that rook is. or even the most important part. certainly not to him.]
He is cute though. And ticklish. And he doesn't take away anything inside of me. If anything, he sharpens it.
[that was always one of his fears. that feelings would make him too soft. that he would be so busy being in love, he would forget the parts of the world that he hates. now he's also become a duality, a lover and a killer.]
You'll be glad to know that I'm more careful now. And a little more selective.
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But this isn't about him, so he shut it down. What matters is this, now, Jiho's admissions. His willingness to change. ]
I'm happy for you. Truly.
[ He chews on the inside of his lip for a moment, before going for it. ]
Can I ask you a personal question?
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jiho looks up at him, curious but unafraid.]
Sure, go ahead.
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Do you - do you guys have sex?
[ It's more because he wants to understand Jiho's sexuality than a true desire to know any kind of detail. But if Rook's being so good to him, Myung just... wonders. ]
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[but he's still cute when he blushes. jiho smiles a little. the question isn't what he expected, but again that says more about jiho than it does myung. it's probably a question that a lot of people would have.]
We haven't. But we've talked about it, and we might in the future. Neither of us need it right now.
[rook isn't like him, but he's not exactly like other people either. what they have works for them.]
There are things that I can get out of it too. I think Rook just needs to feel sure of that first.
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It'll come back, in a couple hours. Unless I see Dal in between, which I doubt I will. Gotta let Bam roam a little.
[ Even if Myung would prefer having Dal around all day, every day, it isn't exactly fair on Bam.
Myung nods, unsure he understands, exactly, but also glad that whatever they have is working out for them. ]
That's - good. That you're both happy. And satisfied. Doesn't matter how that looks like, right? As long as you're both good.
[ He leans in, chin on Jiho's shoulder. ]
You and I would never have worked, long-term. I like sex too much. That's actually the one part I'm scared of, with Dal. Because I like him so much, but he's never had sex, and he could very well realize he doesn't care for it. And I don't know... I don't know what I'd do. I mean, I'd support him, of course, but I don't know if I can be in a relationship without sex.
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