tfln #4 return of the terrible choices

[muskeg]

you know the drill. have at it, swampians.

Comments

[foxtwo]

that's good, yeah. you should do that. i think people would be lucky in knowing you better

[strewn]

thanks! that's awfully nice of you to say. i'm pretty excited to find my footing around here. help out a little.

maybe get close to someone like that, you never know.

[foxtwo]

it feels like a good place to do it, here

[strewn]

it really does. it's such a unique place. i'm not even sure how to put it into words.

[foxtwo]

sometimes words are inadequate. that's okay. as long as you feel like you're in the right place, that's what matters.

[strewn]

i can definitely say this feels like the right place for me- for us to be. even if it didn't benefit me a lot, it still helps him.

[foxtwo]

would you sacrifice your own happiness for his?

[strewn]

yeah, i think i should. i owe him.

[foxtwo]

that's noble. but you both should be able to live happy lives.

[strewn]

what if we can't? just as a hypothetical. if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

[foxtwo]

i...don't know. while my life is intrinsically linked with my brother's, it's not the same, and I could not presume or assume what it's like to deal with what you guys deal with.

[strewn]

yeah, it's hard to even explain what it's like. i don't think the usual rules of logic or morals or anything apply. we have to figure it out on our own. blank slate, kinda.

[foxtwo]

in a way, that's very lucky. you can start over and find a way you can both be happy

[strewn]

that's a positive way of looking at it, yeah. i just hope we know how to keep away from the edge, so to speak. not go too far.

[foxtwo]

i've been wanting to have a blank slate, myself. start over. you should make the most of it.

what edge are you talking about?

[strewn]

i'd guess you're probably not the only one. life's pretty complicated like that, isn't it?

the edge of reason, i guess. if there are no rules for us, then i dunno.

[foxtwo]

yeah, but it's also impossible. i'm not naive enough to believe i can have a blank slate, and i'm realizing that maybe i should accept my past and try to move on from it instead of erasing it.

rules like - how much time you each get to spend out in the world?

[strewn]

that's a good point. moving on can be hard, but it's a better way to build a good future for yourself than leaving behind absolutely everything that came before, right?

right. exactly like that. how do we divide our time, how do we divide our space, what do we do if the other wants to get married or leave this house or go to school or, who knows, right?

[foxtwo]

its not good, I don't think, to try and pretend that your past didn't influence who you are now.

oh, those are tough questions. how do you do it, at the moment?

[strewn]

yeah, i don't think you can ever be very honest about who you are if you do that. the past does a lot to make us who we are now.

we're still trying to figure it out, i think. before, we just didn't really address it. none of it. he hardly ever came out, so it didn't seem like it'd ever be an issue.

[foxtwo]

what about dal, though? someone without history?

i hope you guys find a good balance. that you both get to be happy.

[strewn]

i don't know, honestly. i wonder about that a lot. i guess he has to find some history of his own.

thanks. i think we're really working on it for the first time now. so, i'm hopeful, i guess!