[ Myung sighs, reaching down to play with some of Jiho's yarn. ]
I used to be so sure, about Dae. He was so... steadfast. So stubborn, about us. [ He clenches his jaw. ] Not that I think you should be more cautious. He's waited around for you long enough. I just. I worry.
[ Well, at least when Myung burnt, he did so brightly. Right? ]
Maybe it makes sense, then. He had to fly away, or some shit like that.
[ Sure, Myung is happy, right now. He's happier than he thought he could be, considering the circumstances. But that doesn't mean that he's not still bitter.
Mm, thanks. I do like him, you know? He's cute. And he's obviously good for you. You've mellowed out a lot since you've let him in, and I can't say that I think it's a bad thing.
[they have other adjectives for him. and while they're true, they're not all that rook is. or even the most important part. certainly not to him.]
He is cute though. And ticklish. And he doesn't take away anything inside of me. If anything, he sharpens it.
[that was always one of his fears. that feelings would make him too soft. that he would be so busy being in love, he would forget the parts of the world that he hates. now he's also become a duality, a lover and a killer.]
You'll be glad to know that I'm more careful now. And a little more selective.
[ Myung flexes his fingers a little, an impossible reaction to the immediate question that plagues him - does he take anything inside of Jiho? Present, or past tense?
But this isn't about him, so he shut it down. What matters is this, now, Jiho's admissions. His willingness to change. ]
I'm happy for you. Truly.
[ He chews on the inside of his lip for a moment, before going for it. ]
[ It's more because he wants to understand Jiho's sexuality than a true desire to know any kind of detail. But if Rook's being so good to him, Myung just... wonders. ]
[but he's still cute when he blushes. jiho smiles a little. the question isn't what he expected, but again that says more about jiho than it does myung. it's probably a question that a lot of people would have.]
We haven't. But we've talked about it, and we might in the future. Neither of us need it right now.
[rook isn't like him, but he's not exactly like other people either. what they have works for them.]
There are things that I can get out of it too. I think Rook just needs to feel sure of that first.
It'll come back, in a couple hours. Unless I see Dal in between, which I doubt I will. Gotta let Bam roam a little.
[ Even if Myung would prefer having Dal around all day, every day, it isn't exactly fair on Bam.
Myung nods, unsure he understands, exactly, but also glad that whatever they have is working out for them. ]
That's - good. That you're both happy. And satisfied. Doesn't matter how that looks like, right? As long as you're both good.
[ He leans in, chin on Jiho's shoulder. ]
You and I would never have worked, long-term. I like sex too much. That's actually the one part I'm scared of, with Dal. Because I like him so much, but he's never had sex, and he could very well realize he doesn't care for it. And I don't know... I don't know what I'd do. I mean, I'd support him, of course, but I don't know if I can be in a relationship without sex.
[he can understand that feeling, wanting someone around all the time when they can't be. at least he's assuming that bam is a nice person in his own right. hopefully it makes the sacrifice a little easier.]
It's a possibility, but not likely. It's all about talking and finding a balance that everyone is comfortable with. Love someone enough, you'll find a way to make it work. Liking sex is fine, but it's not the most important thing. It's certainly not worth trading for love. [he looks at myung to emphasize that.] I mean, what if that alligator in the kitchen crawled into bed with you and bit your dick off. What then?
You had to ruin it. One, Cupcake would never do that, and two, that's not really the point. I shouldn't have to think of scenarios where I don't have a dick.
[ He sighs, pressing his nose to the knobbly end of Jiho's shoulder. ]
I know you're right, really, I just. I can't really imagine a life without sex, that's all. I guess it's easier for you to do because you don't care about it. But I do. It's how I've shown how I feel to people for a long time. I'm not saying it's the only way, I just hope I can... show it to him.
Other ways to express my feelings? I mean, I’ve been doing that. I wouldn’t go exclusive for just anyone. And we’ve been talking a lot. About the good things, but also the bad things. He knows more about me already than - half the people in this house.
[ Myung blushes a little again. ]
And he seems to really like it when I kiss his hand. Real Victorian.
[it's not a warning, not even advice. he can tell that myung wants nothing else in the world right now but to make dal happy, abstinence and hand kisses and all.]
And massage his shoulders in the shower. Because fuck, that's almost gotten Rook deep-throated a time or two, and I know your hands are as good as his are.
[ It's a promise, and it's heartfelt. And then he chokes, coughing a little. He's not exactly turning into a prude, but thinking of these things with Dal make him feel all funny inside. ]
God, I mean, I haven't even put my hands up his shirt, I don't think showering together is anywhere in the picture just yet, Ji.
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I used to be so sure, about Dae. He was so... steadfast. So stubborn, about us. [ He clenches his jaw. ] Not that I think you should be more cautious. He's waited around for you long enough. I just. I worry.
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[pretty and bright, flitting from flower to flower. myung was more of a tiger moth, drawn to things that would burn him.
he did think that they had something special. but people can change. hasn't he?]
I know. [he puts his hand on myung's knee.] You don't have to worry too much though. If he hurts me, I'll probably kill him.
[it's worse that he smiles when he says that.]
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Maybe it makes sense, then. He had to fly away, or some shit like that.
[ Sure, Myung is happy, right now. He's happier than he thought he could be, considering the circumstances. But that doesn't mean that he's not still bitter.
Myung snorts. He can believe that. ]
Maybe just stab him a little, don't kill him.
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Just stab him a little. [jiho laughs at the advice.] That's going to be hard for me, but I'll try. Since you asked me to.
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Mm, thanks. I do like him, you know? He's cute. And he's obviously good for you. You've mellowed out a lot since you've let him in, and I can't say that I think it's a bad thing.
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[they have other adjectives for him. and while they're true, they're not all that rook is. or even the most important part. certainly not to him.]
He is cute though. And ticklish. And he doesn't take away anything inside of me. If anything, he sharpens it.
[that was always one of his fears. that feelings would make him too soft. that he would be so busy being in love, he would forget the parts of the world that he hates. now he's also become a duality, a lover and a killer.]
You'll be glad to know that I'm more careful now. And a little more selective.
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But this isn't about him, so he shut it down. What matters is this, now, Jiho's admissions. His willingness to change. ]
I'm happy for you. Truly.
[ He chews on the inside of his lip for a moment, before going for it. ]
Can I ask you a personal question?
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jiho looks up at him, curious but unafraid.]
Sure, go ahead.
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Do you - do you guys have sex?
[ It's more because he wants to understand Jiho's sexuality than a true desire to know any kind of detail. But if Rook's being so good to him, Myung just... wonders. ]
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[but he's still cute when he blushes. jiho smiles a little. the question isn't what he expected, but again that says more about jiho than it does myung. it's probably a question that a lot of people would have.]
We haven't. But we've talked about it, and we might in the future. Neither of us need it right now.
[rook isn't like him, but he's not exactly like other people either. what they have works for them.]
There are things that I can get out of it too. I think Rook just needs to feel sure of that first.
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It'll come back, in a couple hours. Unless I see Dal in between, which I doubt I will. Gotta let Bam roam a little.
[ Even if Myung would prefer having Dal around all day, every day, it isn't exactly fair on Bam.
Myung nods, unsure he understands, exactly, but also glad that whatever they have is working out for them. ]
That's - good. That you're both happy. And satisfied. Doesn't matter how that looks like, right? As long as you're both good.
[ He leans in, chin on Jiho's shoulder. ]
You and I would never have worked, long-term. I like sex too much. That's actually the one part I'm scared of, with Dal. Because I like him so much, but he's never had sex, and he could very well realize he doesn't care for it. And I don't know... I don't know what I'd do. I mean, I'd support him, of course, but I don't know if I can be in a relationship without sex.
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It's a possibility, but not likely. It's all about talking and finding a balance that everyone is comfortable with. Love someone enough, you'll find a way to make it work. Liking sex is fine, but it's not the most important thing. It's certainly not worth trading for love. [he looks at myung to emphasize that.] I mean, what if that alligator in the kitchen crawled into bed with you and bit your dick off. What then?
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You had to ruin it. One, Cupcake would never do that, and two, that's not really the point. I shouldn't have to think of scenarios where I don't have a dick.
[ He sighs, pressing his nose to the knobbly end of Jiho's shoulder. ]
I know you're right, really, I just. I can't really imagine a life without sex, that's all. I guess it's easier for you to do because you don't care about it. But I do. It's how I've shown how I feel to people for a long time. I'm not saying it's the only way, I just hope I can... show it to him.
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he's smiling though.]
I know. And I think it makes you feel loved too.
[he's not sure myung could believe anyone without sex, and that's what worries him. but chances of it coming to that are slim.]
Give some other ways a try too. I bet you and Dal would both enjoy it. You want me to make you a list?
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Other ways to express my feelings? I mean, I’ve been doing that. I wouldn’t go exclusive for just anyone. And we’ve been talking a lot. About the good things, but also the bad things. He knows more about me already than - half the people in this house.
[ Myung blushes a little again. ]
And he seems to really like it when I kiss his hand. Real Victorian.
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[it's not a warning, not even advice. he can tell that myung wants nothing else in the world right now but to make dal happy, abstinence and hand kisses and all.]
And massage his shoulders in the shower. Because fuck, that's almost gotten Rook deep-throated a time or two, and I know your hands are as good as his are.
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[ It's a promise, and it's heartfelt. And then he chokes, coughing a little. He's not exactly turning into a prude, but thinking of these things with Dal make him feel all funny inside. ]
God, I mean, I haven't even put my hands up his shirt, I don't think showering together is anywhere in the picture just yet, Ji.