[ when Minsu wraps around him, sturdy and warm, Sage shakes even more. this feels too much like absolution, like he is forgiven and fuckfuckfuck he does not know how to cope with that. with how gentle Minsu is, how understanding. it reminds Sage all over again how he isn't worthy of this attention, this affection. those goddamned words that Minsu tells him all over again in the same reverent tone that shakes his bones and rattles his teeth.

this does terrify him. truly, because gods he could get used to this. feeling fucking safe and wanted and-- home. he could grow to want and need this kind of feeling that he feels when Minsu wraps him up and presses kisses to his head and tells him that it isn't his fault like he means. in a way, Sage already craves it. because he doesn't push Minsu away, doesn't push out of the chair and flee. he just-- shudders and lets himself be held.

and then Minsu is next to him, light kisses on his face and fuck, Sage is shaking like a goddamned leaf. so he takes in a shuddering breath, the past and regrets sticking in his throat, and moves to curl his hands around Minsu's to hold them.]

I am terrified, Minsu. I am. [ honesty. Minsu deserves that. ] I don't know-- fuck, I don't want your blood to be next on my hands. I can't-- fuck I couldn't handle that.